Very very excited

I'm very very excited about tomorrow! It's my last paper and I will be free! At least for a while. But I need to start on my FYP on Thursday. Dread.
A lot of interesting things have happened, and this has been my most distracted semester of studying, especially the last few days.

Hmm... actually I wondered how safe is my blog address.. somehow I think some people might have discovered it.
Haha! I'm actually very happy the way things turned out. It's like in the TV drama serials. You never thought that the person you crushed on actually liked you also. Anyway, it's all speculations too. I'm not sure how accurate my guesses are, but I'm enjoying the immense happiness right now. Haha!

。想。他。

最近常常在想，如果我很努力很努力地去想一个人，他是不是能够感应得到？
我努力默默地对他说我喜欢你，他听得到吗？
有时候，好像有感应，但我却说是自己多心了。
到底爱要怎么说出口？

It was supposed to be a new beginning..

I need to let go...
I need to let go of him...
I need to let go of him...
Start afresh, stop imagining things..

Stop creating my whole castle in the air, thinking that the whole world revolves around me...
I will always be the most most most most most most favorite junior. ALWAYS.

Stay focused. There's lots to be done this year.

An engaging conversation

Yesterday morning, I woke up and saw three msgs on my phone. All from the same one person sent at 03:30.

___________________________________________________________________

Msg#1
cant slp so i msg u haha..4ur info i broke e team record w lorraine 3480..so now im a3time individual champ&a3time doubles champ..wat r u??? juz a2time champ

Msg#2
my track record speaks for itself..im in e ben&jerry's hall of fame alr..u r just a wanna be..i think they r going to knight me soon as sir ng xxx xxxxx

Msg#3
i m the greatest player the game has ever produced&i will forever b a legend..my legacy lives on..

___________________________________________________________________

I was irritated and pissed off reading these three msgs.

Flashback:

For the past few days, there has been a challenge going on between this guy and me. We were competing to top in a Ben & Jerry's game www.benjerry.com.sg

There's individual category and team category. So far I have yet found my team partner. I was just playing on my own. The day before I had a high score of 2455! Broke his record of 2255! So I went to challenge him. But the tone of his reply was "watever xianghui... being the best in ben&jerry's game will bring you far in life!! congrats!" Sounds as if he can't be bothered at all, then the next moment you know, he was sending childish trash-talking msgs again! I felt irritated because I felt that this "challenge" thingy was so unfair for me. Whatever he said counts, but whatever I said counts for nothing.

Then last night, I played the game again and I managed to score 2990! Which I think was really damn high. So I msged him "Trying beating 2990". "NA NI KE NENG??"

After a while, he came online and msned me. I showed him my "evidence". Haha!

Then we started chatting about other stuff. I asked him how his paper was, blah blah blah. Then I asked him questions about life and we started a really heart-to-heart talk. In the end, I found what that he's really a thoughtful guy, very sensible unlike the "immature and egoistic" one I thought he was. And he was really serious when talking and encouraging me, which I thought was rather rare from a guy. And he really said a few things which touches me. Well, I'm just glad to know him a lot better through this conversation. Thankful that we had a nice chat before he leaves hall. However, no sparks though. Darn.

Passion of fire..

Instead of studying, I was busy creating new images and playing with Fireworks. I went to search online for these amazing tutorials. Here's what I've created:

Feeling hot??

From new and modern

To old and rustic

From bright and happy

To cool and steady

Back to the future!

M.u.g

Yesterday I wanted to write an entry but the network in hall was down. Right now, I'm in arts canteen, a change from the usual routine. But it's still dirty and noisy. Something's wrong with my keyboard, I think my "N" key is abit loose.

Anyway, I had my first paper yesterday. I think it was okay. Enough for me to get a "C" if not a "B", considering the amount of effort I put in. I was aiming to achieve an "A", I was just taking my own sweet time to study. I was very contented when I managed to go through the whole syllabus and was rather familiar with the concepts. This must be the first time I'm so well prepared. But I was rather slack in preparing for the next paper. Must buck up later!

After I finished my paper, I went back hall to re-pack my bag before going to the library again. Just then I broke my MUG! Don't know if it's an omen or not. But I was rather upset by it because it was a gift from RT.

Ever since I went to the library to study, I was with the B4 guys, but most of the time ZC. He's really one guy who would dare stupid things with me. I enjoyed his stupid challenges. Hahaha! And we are always trash-talking with one another. Yesterday, he did a couple of stupid things. First, he came late to library. Then he was very sleepy, so drowsy that he went into the female toilet instead! Ha! When I left the library in the noon for my 1pm paper, he went back hall to sleep at 3.30pm! What an audacity! After dinner, he went back to the library while I stayed in hall to watch "So you think you can dance?" By the time, I got back to the library(I needed to retrieve my stuff), it was already 9pm. He suggested that I should I go arts canteen instead, I agreed and so we left. Well, actually he wanted me to help to kop two boxes back! How "thoughtful"?! So I helped him took two boxes and walked away first without waiting for him because I thought it was a disgrace to steal these boxes. After walking a short distance, I turned back to look at him and to my amusemet, he was carrying 4 boxes!! It was a real comical sight! And I couldn't stop laughing for a while. OMG! It's so funny!

Lonely makes me happy

Sometimes, I feel happier being alone. I think everyone needs some time being alone. But I know some people cannot stand being alone.

Right now, I'm in a period of loneliness and I'm loving it.
Don't feel like explaining to people. Don't feel like waiting for people. Don't feel like talking to people. Don't feel like being disturbed by others.
I just want to be alone.

I feel like I can go on without depending on others. But I think it's impossible to survive in this world alone. You need a friend. Sigh! I can't wait for holidays to come so that I can try to meet up with my secondary friends. Didn't really contact them after New Year's celebration. Hang out too much with hall friends.

Actually, I'm not sure how long will the friendships build during my stay in Eusoff last. I don't think most will last long. Because these kind of friendship is built up on convenience. Everything started because we live near one another. I think JT mentioned "proximity friendship" before. That's what I think too. Once the proximity is removed, I don't know what will happen, though I know everyone will try to make effort to contact one another. This is totally different from the friendships I've made in secondary school. They are strong and withstanding. I know I can still confide to them even if we haven't meet up for a long time.

Sigh! I haven't been studying since I came back, and I feel sleepy already. Hahaha! But I'm not panicking at all because I'm contented to have gone through my syllabus before. This is the attitude of a slacker. Haha! Totally not going for an extra mile to earn a better grade.

What's up?

I ain't no regular blogger, yo!

Anyway, I just had a lot of thoughts about stuff.. Lots of stuff..

Recently, just finished my virtual island. Basically, I need to create an island and integrate the different disciplines in civil engineering. I spent almost a week, day and night, trying to figure out how to build a website. Everything I do, I learnt it step-by-step. Did a lot of research on the web. Finally, I completed it all by myself. Was damn proud about that, though my website looked "kiddish", it was limited by the skills I've acquired within such a short time period. Anyway, during this "stress" period, I kept thinking about how unfair the education system was. Because while I'm struggling to build my website, some other "fortunate" people are enabled to engage "professional" help to help them create the website"effortlessly". Sigh. I'm always not the one enjoying the "incentives". It's in my blood.

Exams are here. This must be the most relaxing exam period for me. Only three papers and very well spread. But I went through the toughest period before this. And that was really the TOUGHEST period. Glad I've survived. On Thursday, I started going to the library to study. Earlier the week, I was in my room, not productive at all. It was then that I realised how much I enjoyed studying in the library. And I really had a lot of memories over there. Suddenly, I missed my EC again. But, without PY, I don't dare to go level 6 alone. Sigh!

Just chatted with SY on MSN. Realised she was going through a tough period also. When I thought things were going bad for me, I think she had it worst. It made me realised that people should never complain. Because when you complain, you will always see yourself as the MOST pathetic person, and this is a selfish act. This morning, I was just telling M and XY that somehow I'm irritated with ZY. I bet they told him during lunch. I knew they will tell him. Then I realised that I was always complaining that people don't appreciate my efforts(which is true), but I wasn't appreciating his efforts also. Sigh! But I can't stand the way he do things sometimes!

Anyway, I will try to create my own blog skin during the holidays! Yipee!

A romantic thought...

So many birthday surprises these few days...
I wonder what is the sweetest surprise that I could think of..
Haha tadah~
I think the sweetest surprise for your bf/gf would be to customise a birthday cake and put it on display.. then ask he/she to casually browse the shop...
WOoHooo~! How's that?
Very sweet right?
hahaha

A breakthrough?

Had a lab session this morning. Spent three hours looking into microscope. After the session, I had headache and felt nauseous for the rest of the day. But something occurred to me. I don't even know whether is it logical or not.

A thought came to me: "Are bacteria subjected to quantum laws?" Haha.
Sounds a bit ridiculous, but can we apply the laws of physics to other fields in science? Whatever field, be it chemistry or biology, we are still at the mercy of Mother Nature, so I think everything is interlinked. However, I have no idea what effects or results should I observed. But I think this is a start. Well, most of the great discoveries happened when you least expect it.

My life so far..

Life has been good for me.. Though I think many unfortunate things always happen to me, i have been very lucky to be blessed with kind and helpful souls.

Life has been very fulfilling.. I managed to try all the stuff I always dream of. This year I tried dancing, it was very tiring but the fruit was priceless.

Life has been rewarding.. Recently, I just realised that I've really made an impact on other people's life, and this really gives me a sense of achievement.

I'm really contented with what I have and what I can have. That's why I keep thinking that, if I were to die the next moment, I would have no regrets except not being able to let my parents enjoy a good life.

For the past two months, I'm practically drained out from hall activities such as IHG and DP, plus IVP. It's really a nightmare. Physically and mentally exhausted. Now that the "tsunami" wave is over, I'm struggling to catch up with my school work. This semester I am ready to put in my best effort but I didn't really get very satisfying results. Things always happen unexpectedly. Whenever I am determined to study, other distractions will pop out. This month is going to be busy with term papers and meetings.

Anyway, the state of my face now is terrible. trying very hard to rescue it. Haha. I'm ugly.
Sigh, there's actually a lot more things that I wanted to write but can't remember suddenly. Hope I will blog more often.

领悟

I must learn to live my own life.
我要为自己而生活。不要再想其他不可能实现的事情，要活得精彩。要独立。不要再玩心里游戏，让自己受伤。就像愫仪所说，总有一天，有人会欣赏我的优点，看到我的魅力，而他将会是最爱我的人。

care bear stare

	Cheer Bear You're the Care Bear cheerleader! Your spunky personality and optimisim lifts everyone's spirit. Though you want everyone to be happy, you stand your ground on issues you feel strongly about and this can bring disunity among your friends. Despite this, you are a true believer in working together.
Take the Which Care Bear Are You? Quiz!