Mixed feelings

Ever since I saw my eyecandy on fourth week of school, I've been bumping into him at least once a week! Haha! Today, I saw him.

These few days, I've been having a lot of mixed feelings.
Haha I don't now how to express myself but I've been thinking a lot about the guys around me (yeah, sounds damn desperate right?)

Before that, the only guy I thought about was only my eyecandy. Haha He's like my "virtual" friend, someone who doesn't exist in reality. Then RS came along. I got to know him better through badminton. I heard about him before from Suyi. He's really the one who can become the "perfect boyfriend". He's not bad-looking, he's got the money and he's damn faithful. I would like to know him better. The other guy who frequent my mind these few days is ZY. Before he broke up with his gf, I treated him as my "brother". But right now, I'm not too sure of the feeling. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Enough of guys. More solemn stuff.

Last Saturday, I went to visit my grandparents. I was shocked when my mother told me that my grandfather may pass away anytime. These few days, I have been constantly checking my phone in case my mother calls me. It's pretty scary to wait for that dreadful phone call. Other than praying, I really do not know what else should I do. Though I wasn't so close to my paternal grandfather, I do remember the childhood memories with him. I used to watch him smoke opium. Sat on his lap as he controlled my hands on the steering wheel of his black taxi. My grandfather is someone who likes to repair old clocks and fans and he has collected a lot of antiques that seems useless to many of us. Looking back, the only regret I had was to miss his 76th birthday dinner at the start of this year. I was the only absentee that day.

I really do not know how I should handle the situation when the time comes.