Staring At The Sun

Daylight on my shadow

Makes me feel alive

You kept me standing in your shadow

And it's a cold cold place to hide

I'm running away from this messed up place

I'm breaking free yeah yeah

I'm tired of staring at the sun

Can't stand the way you put my eyes so I can't see

Stealing every breath I breathe

You push me into overdrive

And I don't need this kind of light coz now I'm done

You took everything while I was staring at the sun

I know you won't leave me

But just turn and walk away

I'm tired when you kick me around

Trying to kill my dreams and break me down

But I won't hang around

weird

You Are 80% Weird

You're more than quirky, you're downright strange.But you're also strangely compelling, like a cult leader.

How Weird Are You?

Mixed feelings

Ever since I saw my eyecandy on fourth week of school, I've been bumping into him at least once a week! Haha! Today, I saw him.

These few days, I've been having a lot of mixed feelings.
Haha I don't now how to express myself but I've been thinking a lot about the guys around me (yeah, sounds damn desperate right?)

Before that, the only guy I thought about was only my eyecandy. Haha He's like my "virtual" friend, someone who doesn't exist in reality. Then RS came along. I got to know him better through badminton. I heard about him before from Suyi. He's really the one who can become the "perfect boyfriend". He's not bad-looking, he's got the money and he's damn faithful. I would like to know him better. The other guy who frequent my mind these few days is ZY. Before he broke up with his gf, I treated him as my "brother". But right now, I'm not too sure of the feeling. Or maybe I'm just too sensitive.

Enough of guys. More solemn stuff.

Last Saturday, I went to visit my grandparents. I was shocked when my mother told me that my grandfather may pass away anytime. These few days, I have been constantly checking my phone in case my mother calls me. It's pretty scary to wait for that dreadful phone call. Other than praying, I really do not know what else should I do. Though I wasn't so close to my paternal grandfather, I do remember the childhood memories with him. I used to watch him smoke opium. Sat on his lap as he controlled my hands on the steering wheel of his black taxi. My grandfather is someone who likes to repair old clocks and fans and he has collected a lot of antiques that seems useless to many of us. Looking back, the only regret I had was to miss his 76th birthday dinner at the start of this year. I was the only absentee that day.

I really do not know how I should handle the situation when the time comes.

Undecided

In a wink of time, school starts tomorrow.
And yet, I've barely rested.
Monday - mugging in the library. Preparing for my Physics term test.
Tuesday - Went Sentosa with Cheryl, Michelle and Zhiye. It was damn fun and the weather was amazingly great!
Wednesday - A bit of studying. Went to take photos for Urban Planning group tutorial. Wasted the rest of the day.
Thursday - A bit of studying. Went for training. Physically drained out and aching muscles.

Right now, I'm very tanned or rather very dark. Haha! And I like it very much. But how I wish I could go for a tan more often to get a more even skin color. Tomorrow night, my whole wing is going for the hall bash. One good thing to look forward to.

Recently, I keep wondering who reads my blog. What if someone knows me reads my blog? I'm not afraid of saying the wrong things because I only write my feelings and opinions of things. May not be reasonable sometimes, but it's just how I think.

I've concluded that there are rapists, perverts and molesters out there lurking in Friendster. Yesterday, I uploaded the photos we took on Tuesday at Sentosa. I set the photo in which me and Michelle were posing in our bikinis as the primary photo. This afternoon, I came back from the library and checked my mail. One stranger sent me a Friendster message and another requested me to add him as friend. Hahahahaha! I'm so amused that I couldn't believe it. The other amazing thing is when I logged in to my main page and saw that my profile was viewed 20+ times within a day. It's really a lot considering that usually nobody visits my page. I suddenly realised the magic of a "good" photo. Now I had to set another innocent looking photo as the primary photo in order to avoid unnecessary people. Hahaha.

Not-so-Creative

I realised that I'm a very boring writer. My entries are all the events that actually happened(Duh!). But sometimes as I read other people's journal, blogs, whatever, most of them have funny and critical entries about how they look at things. Somehow I'm not able to produce that kind of entries. Heh.

Anyway, I had my first DP tech class two nights ago. It was fun but I'm very depressed that I couldn't catch up with the music and it seems to me that everyone else is doing better than me. I'm really amazed but how the experienced dancers can move so fluidly and smooth. One day, I really hope I can dance like that as well. I should stop having low self-esteem and just go there and have fun, but I think it's the unfamilarity with the place and people that suppressed me. Haha.

Reflections

Didn't really do much this weekend, but then again, weekends are always slack. Cancelled tuition yesterday morning for VI Symposium where the year fours present their virtual islands. It did gave me a bit of an idea of what I should put in my own virtual island. The symposium ended at 12pm. It started raining on my way back hall. Went for lunch with my neighbours who just came back from IBG handball. After that, we came back and showered and I played mahjong with Nana, Rach and Eli. Lost freaking 7 bucks! Haha! But I had a ball of time. We went to Toa Payoh for dinner and also to watch Huifen play Asian Champs. It was against the Maldives. Our players were giant standing beside the Maldives. It was a thrashing game. Just when we were about to leave, we spotted a REAL tall Sri Lankan who was freaking 2.08m tall!!! Oh my god! I jokingly told Cindy that she's about 2.5 times taller than Cindy. The whole group of us went to Icekimo to eat desserts. Again, Rohting's not there. But Cindy called her and she rushed down from don't know where. Heh! Great to come back to the familiar place once again. Great to see her again. Haha.

Rach drove the few of us back hall. Chatted with Grace for a long while. At first, I merely wanted to show her that I've brought back the Cambodian fan for memory sake. Then I proudly showed her my completed expedition journal. I was really proud of my journal because I really managed to used up all the pages and I did consistently my daily doings in the trip. So we started reading my journal. It was really interesting to go through my journal again. My style of writing was such that I would record down every little things that happened on the day itself and then added in my own thoughts. I'm glad that my journal wasn't boring at all, at least to me. Haha. I did mention about Grace on several occasions. I passed my journal around during the trip for others to leave me a note. Can tell that everyone thinks that I learnt a lot of things more than them because I always played with the kids. Everyone also mentioned about my nonsensical laughters at the weirdest times. But I'm really enjoying all the moments spent there. I didn't expect to join expedition once again. But I'm really glad that I will be going back again. Hah. Really cannot tell at this point of time whether everything will go well or not because the comm is made up of mainly year ones and twos. Not yet tried and tested unlike the previous batch of members who were manily year twos and above.

Just finished cleaning up my room. Suppose to shower now and then go home. Sigh, really didn't do much this weekend. Initially, I wanted to "mug" or learn some web designing. Looks like I've got to work extra hard in the weekdays.

funny

This is really funny! I love Baby Blues so much. hehe

Ponder ponder ponder

After the long break, I finally saw him again in the fourth week of school. Before that, I've received so many sms from "concerned" friends that they had bumped into him at "science, arts, YIH". I wanted to see him very much but I really didn't expect to see him that day or rather I had given up hopes of bumping into him. Haha! But I was really glad to see him again. My heart was beating so fast that for a moment I can feel all the blood rushing into my brain. I really don't know why am I so infatuated with him. I realised that there are actually a lot of eligible guy friends in my own social circle, so why am I desperately clinging on to someone whom I don't think I have the chance to even know him.